...and Develop Sexual Mastery
Learning to control and get over fears can be a challenge. Fortunately, mastery of the mind is possible! There are typically two phases to developing mastery: desensitization, and counter conditioning.
Desensitization is the first phase where the aim is to reduce anxiety to manageable levels. This is typically done via some sort of simulated or actual exposure.
An example of how this works would be as follows: If you have performance anxiety for sexual activities like penetration or other advanced activities, you'd restrict yourself to engaging only in those activities which do not cause you anxiety. As you allow your confidence and libido to grow, only then do you gently push your boundaries.
It's highly recommended you partake in this type of therapy only with a trusted sexual partner!
If when performing you begin to experience anxiety, the best course of action is to pause and shift your mental focus to your breathing. Breathe in slowly, and exhale even more slowly. Repeat this for a few breaths until you feel yourself getting calmer.
The Emotional Visualizations exercise is an excellent guide for mastering one's emotional state to develop sexual mastery.
Counterconditioning comes next. This is where you go beyond the remedial state into the levels of maximum efficiency and performance. Greater penile hardness and stamina (EQ- a combined measure of hardness and stamina) as well as ejaculatory control are targets during this phase. At the advanced levels, one can aim for Male Multiple Orgasm (MMO). This is accomplished by developing timing with Erect Kegels and edging training.
Emotional Visualization exercises are still used as needed, and the goal will now be to get to a place where you're uninhibited by your fears and are able to completely immerse yourself into the experience in a fully confident manner. Doing so will allow you to develop a deeper emotional connection to your partner, creating a better level of emotional bonding and heightened sexual experience.
The essence of the two phase approach is effective for goals beyond the sexual arena as well.
